Sex is a Mental Thing
Text submitted by Lucía and written by various sexologists.
Learn to trust in your own beauty
It's common for a woman to fear not being pretty enough, attractive enough to be desired. In fact, when a man finds himself physically intimate with a woman, naked, very close to him, she is always the most beautiful woman in the world to him. The man allows himself to be touched, moved by the intimacy, which includes imperfections. Showing your vulnerability to your partner is a beautiful gift; being aware of this allows you to forget your insecurities and enjoy these wonderful moments. For a woman to enjoy making love, it's essential that she feels good, comfortable with herself and her body. A little preparation before making love is very stimulating for her. You can take a bath or shower and apply a scented oil or cream to soften your skin and perfume it with a delightful aroma. This way, a woman will feel much more seductive, even if she considers she has small imperfections...
Eroticize the desire
Never think that desire is given once and for all. It must be cultivated, nurtured, and maintained. One of the best ways to achieve this is through communication. I am convinced that talking is the best aphrodisiac.
Try to harmonize your rhythms
A man doesn't always know, at the beginning of his sexual life, that a woman's orgasm takes time. For a woman who has never had an orgasm, it may be necessary to practice 45 minutes of caresses, or even more, to increase the excitement enough for her partner to reach orgasm. And this even at the level of the clitoris. Generally, a man reaches his peak of excitement more quickly, so it is often difficult for him to understand that a woman needs more time... This duration tends to decrease with practice, as when a reflex, like the orgasmic reflex, is used, it becomes more active, more alive. Hence, the importance of learning to harmonize your bio-rhythms and not rushing the act. The longer you hold out, the greater the pleasure...
Explore mental pleasure
A very exciting game consists of having fun carrying out a small sexual fantasy, which carries no risk and is simply for laughter. For example, a couple might decide to go out for a drink without the woman, or even neither of them, wearing underwear. It will be a shared secret, which provides intimacy, and the excitement that results from it will allow you to anticipate how the night will continue.
Seek pleasure
Men should stop thinking that sexuality is primarily about penetration. They need to develop their feminine side, caress more, and feel closer to their partner. Under this condition, they will provide and receive more pleasure.
Appreciate orgasm without penetration
It would be very positive for women to understand that they don't need men to have orgasms. Penetration of the penis into the vagina is not the only way for a woman to achieve orgasms. The pleasure obtained through all kinds of caresses is so interesting and important that it deserves to be explored, due to the diversity of sexual pleasures.
Stimulate the clitoris
To teach a man how to caress his partner's clitoris, it is necessary for her to show him how she does it herself. This self-demonstration will teach him the rhythm, pressure, location, amplitude, when to stop, and when to continue... Since we caress our partner as we imagine we should, and not as the partner needs. This also applies to caressing the partner's penis.
Learn the art of 'holding on'
To improve their sexuality, many men tend to take their muscle tension to the extreme. Something completely counterproductive. Contracting the gluteal muscles can give an impression of power, but in reality, it tends to decrease the erection (the blood, instead of going to the penis, stays in the gluteal muscles) and also tends to speed up ejaculation. Therefore, it is preferable to relax these muscles during lovemaking. And hold on, to prolong the pleasure.